Since attending the Life-Enrichment Boot Camp a little over a week ago, I've been working very hard on my remaining issues that surfaced once the main one was removed...seems that over the years, I've piled one on top of the other as ongoing negative events occurred in my life and the older ones just pushed further and further down. Now, I tell God every morning "It's You and me...You and me." and He understands exactly what I'm talking about.
Since I'm working so hard on getting me fixed 100%, I feel that I am now ready to begin dating again but taking things very slowly. I've had about a year since ending my last relationship (although we're friends) and I'm really tired of being alone all the time. I would really enjoy having someone to just go Christmas shopping with, to tease and play around with or go to the movies - nothing earth shattering, just companionship. I do however, have ground rules that I'll be following due to my past "baggage" that I'm still dealing with and will adhere to them strictly. If a man has baggage that he hasn't dealt with from his past or past relationships, then keep moving along because if I'm dealing with mine in order to have a great relationship in the future, I expect the same in return. I will, under no circumstances, allow myself to fall into a compromising situation (physically or emotionally) which would bring out my weak side - no "alone" time because that would be very dangerous for me at this point in my healing...also, no "being the one doing all the giving". I will never again be used by another man as long as I live and if I get the feeling it's happening, I will walk away - no explanation necessary. I deserve way better than that. No man will ever lay a hand on me to physically abuse me...I won't walk away, I will RUN away. Once I commit to a relationship, I'm loyal and trustworthy and will leave and never return if the man I'm with isn't. I've been cheated on in the past and it's degrading and leaves permanent scars which I don't need any more of in my life. I won't date anyone under the age of 45 other than just friendship...45 and up should work just fine. :.) Since I'm the playful, joking type - I wouldn't get along very well or enjoy the company of a man who's overly serious or doesn't know how to laugh at life. I know there are times to be serious but I don't like them very much - lol. I won't date a man who doesn't take care of himself - he doesn't have to be a gymrat but I won't be with a couch potato or someone who's very different from me. Since I do take good care of my body and my health, I can't see myself with a man who doesn't. I won't date anyone who hunts, either...it isn't a sport, it's cruel and there would be too many arguments over that to make it worth my time. Anyone who is an atheist, agnostic, Mormon, Jehovah's witness or into any other kind of cult or weird religion is off my list, as well. I won't waste my time with people with whom I would have no common spiritual connection. I almost made that mistake not too long ago but God closed that door.
Speaking of which, my life has been a virtual whirlwind of opened and closed doors lately...not to mention all the strange things that have happened to me lately, as well. It's as if the hand of God is painting the canvas of my life with broad brush strokes and planning to fill in the details later. I believe in signs and dreams and although I'm not always looking for a sign, I stay aware of my surroundings and events that take place. I think over the years, I've fine-tuned my gift of discernment that I feel I have and am more aware than most people of how others are feeling and what they're thinking...almost a type of intuition that has recently spilled over into the area of occurrences. It's all very strange.
As far as the dating goes - I'm not concerned about the quantity but the quality. I can afford my own dinners, movies and entertainment, so going out on alot of dates doesn't hold any interest for me...a gentleman with heart and depth does. Someone very dear to me told me not long ago, "It's the heart." and I understood completely what he meant. It's what's in the heart that matters most. I can't be with someone who isn't compassionate, kind and caring. I'm a very passionate lady also, which is why I'm working hard on harnessing that part of me until I'm with the right man and the time is right. I will make love to him with my heart first and I will know when that moment happens...then, and only then will he experience the best sex ever! Oh, I just had to lighten this blog up a bit. ;. J Hey, I didn't say I was going to become a nun for crying out loud - just a worthy, respectable, free, worthwhile woman!
Just for the record, I wrote this blog for ME...so that I don't forget, get confused about or have any questions regarding my ground rules. If I think of any more, then I'll post an amendment blog. :.)
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