Life-Enrichment Boot Camp

As I reflect upon the past several days that I was in the Life-Enrichment Boot Camp, I first get a warm and fuzzy feeling and then tears fill my eyes. I have such a mixture of emotions (some good, some bad) from all the hours of dealing with my past issues and watching and listening to others deal with theirs. I found that I could love total strangers fully and unconditionally in only a matter of a day or two. I learned that people are vulnerable and their hearts are tender even when they have up walls and pretend that they're cold and hard. I learned more about my inner self in four days than I ever thought possible and found that I have more strength than I could have imagined to conquer my demons, break down walls that I spent years and years building up, lay past memories and sins to rest and overcome my own self destructive behavior of unforgiveness.
My past is greatly jaded and I felt that noone in that boot camp came even close to what I have experienced and lived through and I felt secluded in a way...like a lone black sheep with a darkened veil over most every aspect of my life. And as I sit here (on this cool looking bamboo chair) typing this, I know that most likely that was very true - but that it didn't matter in the end because every person in that room became a "friend" to me and I left that boot camp "loving" each and every one of them. I saw people have meltdowns and become emotionally broken as a pathway to their healing...myself - it was a full blown panic attack as I struggled to forgive myself of a past sin so great that I spent 32 years reliving and refusing to forgive myself for. In the end, forgiveness won and I walked away a free woman...not perfect by any means, but a much more whole person than when I first walked through those doors.
I laughed hysterically, shed a few tears here and there, cried uncontrollably and loved deeply. I hugged more in four days than I probably have in twenty years, was told how beautiful I was (as a person) with complete and utter genuiness and connected with people on an inner level, overlooking the outward appearance, flaws and imperfections...being forced to look deeply into their eyes and see their hearts and souls. I felt the loving touch of people I will never see again in this lifetime but will see in Heaven and most importantly, I gave my own love in return to them.
I was given the gift of a fleeting glimpse into the lives of people (especially three very special people in my small group) and their baggage and damage from years gone by as we, one by one, opened up and we shared from the deepest parts of our hearts and souls with each other........reluctantly, yet openly. I saw grown men, who most likely thought it wasn't cool or manly to cry, break down and become transparent, vulnerable and real as tears streamed down their cheeks and they poured their hearts out to a roomful of strangers who quickly became their most loving, nonjudgmental friends.
It's very hard to describe this experience in words mainly because everything I went through was on a "heart" level and you just can't describe some heart feelings. I know for a fact that I love all those people, some more than others who I was closely involved with, but I drove away that final night with a feeling of love for everyone there and also a feeling of closure for something that has haunted me for many, many years. I have nothing but unconditional love for everyone involved and extreme gratitude...I could never thank those people enough who made the boot camp possible. It was truly a life-changing experience and a time I will never forget as long as I live.
One person in particular made it possible, not only for me to go, but for me to "break the mirror" - a story he's yet to know - maybe one day I can share it with him and he can share his "angel story" with me.
He's my hero and I love him very much.